Defense Against The Dark Arts 22: Stop being Hurt...
Being Hurt is an unconscious Choice.
Because We live in the West, mostly an Emotionally Retarded Society that exists of too many people that choose to Blame others, rather than Taking Responsibility, we wrongly learned that being hurt is the Fault of others.
The Masters Disagree with this strategy of Blaming:
This is a secret that only few ( 10% of HUMANS EVER ) will ever Master.
Between the Vicious Attack of Your conversational partner and You being Hurt, there is a fraction of a millisecond, in which You choose to let Yourself be hurt.
Sadly we do not recognise that millisecond, and blame our chatting partner and try to hurt him or her as a response instead of taking responsibility for our own hurt
That is the Socially Engineered Golem Mentality Mark Passio talks about...
And when attacked, at first we start to Recognise this...
Then, old emotional pains surface which start to destroy our conversation and possibly our friendship.
And we keep reacting like the Self Loathing Golems in the video above.
We hate our Trauma and cannot Process it, because we lack experience in dealing with pain, so we block our pain and get addicted to lashing out.
However, when we recognise we are doing this, we start trying to break this chain.
Old Flashbacks with discussions, fights and disagreements start to make sense, and we might even choose to become angry at ourselves for not seeing this before.
The problem is we didn't know this.
The real Cause, as with most of us is:
not Social Engineering but
The Solution is the following, with ALL of us:
TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY OVER EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE THAT YOU ARE, WANT, KNOW, HAVE TO AND CAN DO.
INCLUDING YOUR PAIN.