Mending Spiritual Wounds:
There are 8 layers on this page.
This constitutes Emotional Wounds.:
Layer ONE is about feeling wounded:
Many of us feel Wounded to the core of our souls.
We might all have felt Rejected, Misunderstood, Neglected, Judged, Disapproved and more.
When we feel these pains, we tend to feel 1 of 3 basic emotions...
This is the Second layer....: Core Messages:
When we feel Hurt, this can be because we are convinced of something we are NOT...
( Things like Worthless, Not Good Enough, Dumb, A Fraud, Guilty, Evil )
We might become angry, when we feel our Dignity is being taken and we feel not in control.
We might Experience Fear, for our possible loss of Dignity.
Or We might feel Sadness, for not being able to save our dignity.
The THIRD layer is: Triggers.
Some event touches our Spiritual Pain.
We become high tempered and become a pain in the eye.
Or we become Afraid or Sad.
And we might start Running Away from our pain.
And THIS is where some of the Big Pharmaceutical Industries count on: People on Meds, for not doing their Spiritual Homework.
The 4th Layer is: "Voices"...( the Self Critical ones, not the Mental Health care Ones ).
ALL People are hearing voices, when they experience this.
1) The Judge: believes you are Worthless.
Wants you to be perfect in order to refute being worthless.
2) The Hero: Believes You are Worthless.
Wants You to save the World to not be worthless anymore.
3) The Victim: Believes You are Worthless.
4) The Doormat:
Believes You are Worthless.
Denies that belief and wants you to be assertive.
But fails in its assertiveness.
5) The Prince/Princess:
Does NOT believe you are worthless.
Believes you are Entitled to unjust demands and Irrefutable Impossible claims.
6) The Teacher: Believes You are Worthless.
Thinks by Training You; You can become Worthy.
The 5th layer is: Masks...
People like myself, when having this problem but being unaware of it, are ashamed to talk about things that trigger feelings of Unworthyness. ( a good definition of What Shame actually is ).
I myself hid this problem; because I could not name it and I really thought that there was something wrong with me...
So I felt Shame
Fear, Anger and Sadness about this shame.
The Need to hide these Emotions, because people judged them ( And I mistook their Judgements as Truth ).
And The Need to Hide away the fact I was Hiding this.
The 6th Layer:
When You are Not Seeing that Your Ego is not Not Honest with you about what is going on within you, you are Trapped.
So I myself experienced all kinds of Emotions, which I did not Understand.
I thought Something was Wrong with me.
So I oppressed these emotions and locked them away.
Everytime when the Safe went open, I started to Numb myself ( Unconsciously ) by eating or studying...
This went on for Years.
So I started Eating and Sleeping a lot.
I felt miserable, and I knew it was too personal to explain this to anyone.
So I trusted the feelings and thoughts and pain and the sayings of the voices to my journal.
And I started to see a pattern:
The 7th Layer:
What I learned is: I feel shame, because I learned assumptions that are false, but are set in stone within my heart.
And I suppressed it.
But I wasnt being an Observer.
So I started to Observe the situations that where Confronting to me
And I recognised:
My beliefs: ( Worthless ).
My Emotions ( Anger, Fear, Sadness ).
My Coping Strategies: ( Voices ).
My Masks ( Hide it 4 The World ).
And My Numbing Down Strategies (Binging and so on)...
These Strategies Where TOTALLY Ineffective to solve this problem but I tried them for YEARS!
So: New Plan:
How to deal with it effectively?
1) i started to Write down:
A) What Exactly happens when I felt shame.
B) How I Felt After I Discovered it.
C) How I got Triggered and what to do about it.
D) Which "Voices" came in to play.
E) How I tried to Hide it away.
F) And How I tricked Myself into Numbing the Shame down.
G) What kinds of pain was touched and what to do with that.
Then I did something new:
I started to Write down the following;
How I now would respond as an Adult...
And This is Important: I Repeated the Whole Process,
EVERY TIME I felt Shame that is Important enough To me.